DIY Chalkboard Table

I could have sworn I had a Before picture of this little table, but I don't, so I'll just tell you a little story, instead. Once upon a time, we went to a garage sale and paid seven dollars for a slightly battered/obviously loved pint-sized table and chair set. The table and chair set then experienced a long period of neglect as it sat in the cold, messy garage, waiting patiently for us to do something (anything!). 

Unable to watch the little table suffer another moment, Mr. Mallard scuffed up the surface with some sandpaper and put three coats of chalkboard paint on the top, followed by a couple coats of some baby blue paint on the legs. You have to let the chalkboard paint dry for at least three days before you use the surface and you also need to prime it with some chalk. Just make sure you read all the directions and be patient. Very patient. And while it comes in about a dozen different colors, we went with the classic Schoolhouse Green. 

Chalky good times!

Evidence of a successful project: I can't get her to step away long enough for me to take a picture of just the table.

There are still some touch-ups to be done along the edge of the chalkboard part, but the Biggest Girl was going to lose her little marbles if she didn't get to use her table, so we handed it over. And don't think the chairs will be forsaken--no, we've got plans for those, too. Mod Podge-based plans, even. Using the time frame for the table as a basis, we should get to the chairs sometime before, oh, Halloween.  

The leftover chalkboard paint will be put to good use, as well. In an effort to reduce our post-it consumption, we will eventually make a chalkboard to hang in the kitchen. We've also got a wall in the garage that's just aching to be painted and I can see a chalkboard being very useful in a garage. 

So, there you have it. Twelve bucks for a quart of awesome paint and the Biggest Girl has a chalkboard table. Now we just have to resist the urge to chalkboard paint the entire interior of the house. This stuff is just too fun.

Things that have worked

 The Biggest Girl has moved away from the plastic kid bowls and into Fiestaware. I only wonder why I didn't do it sooner. Yes, the ever-looming possibility she may drop one (a green one!) exists, but she's old enough to learn responsibility and truly seems to appreciate eating out of the same dishes as Mom and Dad. She uses the salad plates as dinner plates and the smaller bowls for oatmeal (lots and lots of oatmeal). When the meal is over, she takes her dishes to the kitchen and then washes her hands. It's pretty amazing.

 Vegetable Lasagna with Butternut Bechamel

I found the recipe at one of my new favorites, The Kitchn. We had some squash in the garage that was threatening to go all rebel on us, so I cooked it up, froze some of it, and used the rest to make this delicious, nutritious bit of lasagna delight. It's strange, at first, to have a non-tomato based lasagna, but it does a great job of being unapologetically sweet. And it's got chard! Perfect meal for late winter crops and, since there's no meat, it's also great for Meatless Monday. 

 Pumpkin Cranberry Walnut Bread

Also roasted, pureed, and froze some pumpkin the same day as the squash. I kept some out and made an extremely tasty pumpkin bread. The recipe made two loaves, so I put cranberries in one for the Biggest Girl and chocolate chips in one for Mr. Mallard. I got the best of both world when I made a tiny sandwich with a slice of each and ended up with Pumpkin Cranberry Chocolate Chip Walnut Bread. de-lish. As soon as I remember which recipe I used, I'll get back to you. 

 I am making a potholder. Just saying that reminds me I need to finish it, asap. It's for another contest at Prudent Baby--this time the prize is a badass sewing machine. I was feeling super confident until I saw the most recent entries. Holy moly. These folks can sew. It's inspiring and soul-crushing all at the same time. 

I left the house and hung out in a new backyard for awhile. 

It was just what I needed.

 I taught a good friend how to sew this past weekend. And I didn't yell at her a single time. I also didn't rip the project out of her hands and tell her I'll just do it myself. I was patient and kind and encouraging and this is good news for anyone who has to/wants to work next to me in the kitchen. I am learning to be patient while other people learn. I'm proud of her for bustin' out some adorable curtains the same day she sat down at a sewing machine for the first time ever and I'm proud of myself for knowing enough to teach her how. We're a good team. 

 The Super Bowl was a sort of whatever incident here at Casa de Mallard. I did make a White Chili that was delicious, though. It wasn't as chili-y as we thought it would be, but it was tasty. Tonight, we'll be scarfing it down as a quesadilla filling on homemade tortillas. I will be very honest with you here: the homemade tortillas are not the result of a passion for cooking from scratch. Nope. They are the result of my absolute lack of interest in leaving the house for just one thing. And so I will make them. 

I also made the most delicious cornbread I've ever had in my entire life, but I have to go get dinner started now, so the recipe will have to come later. 

Mrs. Mallard, out!

Five naptimes equals one new room

On any given day, I have roughly two hours to myself. And by "to myself" I mean "to get stuff done." After I toss in a load of laundry, straighten up the house, do a mental check on dinner, make phone calls, do dishes, check my email, and take a deep breath, I've really got about ten minutes to myself, for myself. 

aaaahh...ten minutes.

There are days, though, when I boldly shirk my housekeeping obligations (read: obsessions) in favor of something much more thrilling: projects! 

Here's what you can get done in just under two hours...

Day one: Paint the ceiling. You can leave the ceiling white, but it's so much more fun (and elegant!) if it actually matches your walls. Paint it first and you won't have to be super careful near the edges. If you move quickly, you can get two coats on before being called back to duty. Be warned, though--if you paint a ceiling that quickly, you may or may not be able to actually lift your child afterward, as your arms will be incapacitated from the brutal pop-quiz of a workout. 

Day two: Torture your arms even more by going back to touch up the edges and corners where the ceiling meets the walls. It's okay if you wait 4-6 or 6-8 weeks to get to this step. Wait three months, if you like. When the lights are out at night and you can't sleep, the unpainted cut-ins will whisper sweet horribles in your deliriously tired ears and, since the unfinished work is the first thing your bleary, unrested eyes will see in the morning, you feel soundly defeated before you even get out of bed to face the day.

Or something like that.

Day three: Tape and paint the cut-ins. Taping is boring, but necessary, unless you're a trained professional with a ridiculously steady hand. And again, you can wait several weeks to make it to this step. Because an accomplishment isn't really an accomplishment unless you've been tortured by its unfinished state for weeks, right?

More taping

 Day four: Mutter under your breath about not wasting time checking your email and goofing off online while you finish the cut-ins that should have only taken a day.

Day five: Empty the room while your youngster is still awake. This might seem daunting, but kids love to see their parents lift heavy things. They also love dust bunnies, stray socks, getting in the way, toys that have vanished under furniture, and teamwork. Get everything ready and, the moment that little tax credits' head hits the tiny hay, paint like you've never painted before. Open a window and go for it. Swear openly--the baby is sleeping!

You'll get two coats on faster than you would have thought and your arms will, once again, be extremely angry with you.

Silly arms. You think they'd be used to this type of abuse by now.

 Day six: Put your room back together. This can be done while the wee one is awake.

Revel in the greatness of Rodda Paint's Horizon Interior Low-VOC paint and the precision with which they've color matched Benjamin Moore's Hathaway Gold.

Later on day six, begin wringing your hands and grumbling about crown moulding. Fret about the rugs, as well. The rugs! The rugs! We're going to need new rugs!

Day seven and beyond: Show off your hard work to everyone who walks through the door. Make sure you tell them you did it while the baby slept. They'll be very impressed. And they should be. You're amazing. 

Double-sided napkins

My, what lovely napkins you have!

Oh, yeah...I made them. 

Wazzup?!

They match pretty much the entire rainbow of FiestaWare. 

Oh, did I mention they're double-sided?

They are. 

And the other side matches all the FiestaWare, too. 

Stripes? Flowers? How's a girl to choose?! 

Baby blue thread on top and yellow on the bottom, so the seams don't show (genius!).

I sent these to my sister-in-law for Christmas and I was a little sad to see them go. Once I figured out what I was doing, they nearly made themselves. All I had to do was follow the instructions in this tutorial: click, and this tutorial: click. Now that I know how easy and fabulous these napkins are, our everyday cloth napkins are suddenly looking like they should probably be donated to make room for something new. Life is simply too short for dreary napkins.

Holiday Bias Tape Table Runner and a Christmas rant

I have exactly no Christmas spirit. In fact, I might even qualify as a Christmas spirit vampire. Mr. Mallard's got a pretty firm grip on the other oar of the USS Grinch, so stepping into our house is like stepping out of the holiday season and into October. Or March.

I'm pretty sure I liked Christmas when I was a kid. Maybe it was working in retail. Maybe it was the restaurants. Maybe it's because I'm not a religious person. Maybe it's because we're mammals and the dead of winter is a time for hibernating. Traveling during the worst weather of the year on intentionally overbooked flights with jacked up prices, the mall, people being trampled to death, dutiful consumers spending money they don't have on things other people don't really need...can't we just mail each other some cards, eat a batch of sugar cookies, and watch some football? In our sweatpants? In our undecked halls? Fa-la-la-la-la-ti-stinkin-da.

Surprising then, isn't it, that I made this...

I was inspired.

Prudent Baby's Bias Tape Table Runner Tutorial was accompanied by the opportunity to win a Simplicity Bias Tape Maker.

I don't have a bias tape maker, so I followed the Carolina Fair Designs Fat Quarter Bias Tape Tutorial and made some of my own. Prudent Baby has a great Bias Tape Tutorial, as well, but I didn't need that much, so I opted for the Fat Quarter option, instead. It was pretty darn simple to do by hand. And way cuter than any store bought bias tape I could find in our neck of the woods.

At 1/4 inch apart, I sewed approximately one million little quilty lines across the runner. Fabulous practice, even if it took a few hours. Oh! I got fancy, too--I did red thread in the bobbin and a pale mint green in the needle. Who knew?! Now both sides have matching thread!

It turned out great.

So festive.

I didn't win the contest, but I did get two amazing things from the project. First, I realized I can do this. I can sew. I can make stuff and it might not be perfect, but I made it. It's more exhilarating than I ever would have imagined. Second, I began coming to terms with the idea of doing something other than baking myself out of my jeans again this holiday season. The Biggest Girl doesn't loathe the holidays and it's not really fair of me to pass on this disdain while she's still such a rookie. If she's really my daughter, she'll grow into it soon enough. In the meantime, I guess I owe it to her to deck a wall or two. Or at least the dining room table.

Sewing bender!

A few months ago (or a year...time flies), I bought a sewing machine and made some little curtains. I then proceeded to abandon that trusty little machine, along with the fancy scissors and Project Runway aspirations that accompanied its purchase. When it got cold here last month and I realized the Biggest Girl was going to freeze her tootsies off if we didn't get some cozier bedding, I decided to dust off the sewing machine and just make some sheets. How tough can it be?

I'll tell you: it's not tough at all. It's ridiculously easy, in fact. I followed the Crib Sheet Tutorial from the Michael Miller Fabrics Blog for the bottom part of the sheet and the Top Sheet Tutorial at Whipstitch for the top of the sheet. Two yards of fabric for each sheet--on sale--brings these bad boys in at about $10-12 each. They could have been even less expensive, but I splurged on fancy flannel at a local quilting shop that has a dangerously exciting sale section.

XOXOXO, The Cat by Wendy Slotboom

for In the Beginning Fabrics

Day Dreams from the Just Dreamy collection

by My Mind's Eye for Riley Blake Designs

The babies are particularly fond of this sheet.

I was feeling like a total badass, so I made a fitted sheet, as well. It's folded neatly on the shelf in the Biggest Girl's closet right now, though, and since I'm not nearly ninja enough to sneak into the room of a napping toddler, open the closet, grab the sheet, and escape undetected, you'll just have to trust me when I tell you that it is a masterpiece sculpted of blue polka dot flannel.

After conquering the sheets, I boldly moved on to bigger (smaller, actually), more exciting things. Like flannel pajama pants!

I used Simplicity pattern 8493 and some snowman fabric I found at Joann Fabrics. The most nerve-wracking part of these little pj pants was cutting the pattern--something I had never done before. After I face my pattern cutting fears, they went together so easily that I'm already plotting to get Mr. Mallard and the Biggest Girl in matching jammies by Christmas.

I'm on a roll! I don't know if they sprinkle crack on the fabric or if there's something genuinely therapeutic about the monotonous hum of the sewing machine, but I can't seem to stop. There's more to this sewing bender--specifically an awesome holiday table runner--but it will have to wait. I hear the dishwasher running, but I do not hear the toys in the living room putting themselves back where they belong, so I need to go have a word with them.

Lampshade Adventures

This booooring lamp sat on the chest of drawers next to the Biggest Girl's changing table. I bought it knowing I was going to embellish it somehow. Weeks later, I bought some ribbon and a week after that, Mr. Mallard dug out the glue gun for me. Tired of catching the glue gun staring at me from the breakfast bar and in need of a quick "sense of accomplishment" boost, I stole about 30 minutes and kicked some lampshade ass.

So, that's the before picture...

Here's what I did...

Cut ribbon long enough to just wrap around the lampshade. With your glue gun, place the tiniest little dot of glue on the ribbon and adhere the ribbon to the back seam of the lampshade. Making sure you've got the ribbon lined up straight, put another tiny dot of glue about four or five inches away from the first dot. Continue this until you've gone all the way around the lampshade.

If you can do this and take pictures at the same time, you've obviously also accomplished the task of growing an extra arm.

The ribbons look great, but the rough ends were bringing me down.

Problem solved! Create a tiny loop of ribbon and glue it to the back seam of the shade to cover the ribbon joint.

Add one more little dot of glue on the inside of your ribbon loop and gently press down on the exact middle of the loop.

Ta-da! Tiny little bows!

Man, I'm good...

Now we have a "new" lamp! It took about 30 minutes to finish and used only a fraction of a glue stick. The ribbon cost less than five bucks and I only doused my thumb with hot glue one time. Fortunately, the Biggest Girl was engrossed in a block stacking project of her own and has not repeated any of the dirty words I might have muttered. When you're all done, any little wisps of glue that might be marring your perfection can be rubbed right off. Do a quick double-check to make sure the ribbon is straight between the glue dots and you're good to go.

So, that's it.

Get to it!

Victory!

Turns out the toughest part of making curtains is choosing the fabric!

Just in time for the season finale of Project Runway, I finally busted out the sewing machine and made the kitchen curtains. Since it was the first time in almost thirty years I sat down to sew and, since the curtains turned out fabulous, I'm pretty sure I'm ready to be a contestant on the next season of Runway. Maybe...

I found some great instructions here: click.

Here's the formula I used to measure the fabric:

• ______Desired finished length of curtain (A)
• + ______ Header (B)
• + 1/2" to turn under top raw edge
• + ______ Hem amount (C)
• + 1/2" to turn under the bottom raw edge (or the hem amount for a double hem on sheer fabric)
• = ______ Total length

Once I had my measurements, I folded the edges over and ironed them before sewing some simple straight lines.

The sewing machine was great! It was so easy to use...I guess that's why they call it the Singer Simple. It's nothing fancy, but I'd highly recommend it as a starter machine. I even threaded and installed the bobbin without incident.

Walking into the kitchen this morning, I couldn't help but smile and do a little dance...

I did it! I made those curtains!

Of course, it doesn't hurt that I had The Force on my side.

Coming soon...

As far as I can recall, I haven't sewn since I was about 10 years old.

I bought the simplest machine I could find (the Singer Simple--it's really all in the name, isn't it?), a pair of fancy scissors to guilt myself into actually doing this, and a seam ripper to undo any damage that might occur. The fabric and thread were supposed to be for kitchen curtains, but I've already decided they're better suited for a tote bag and begun the search (again) for the curtain fabric.

I'm excited. I'm going to start with the kitchen curtains and then move on to curtains for the bedrooms before tackling the more burly living room drapes. And don't even get me started on the little dresses I want to make for the Biggest Girl.

Before I can launch the sewing ship, though, there are two cabinets that need to be stained, coated, and hung in the laundry room (almost done with number one), as well as a yard that needs to be fenced, topsoiled, leveled, rolled, and seeded (bring it!) and a play kitchen that is just begging to be put together (average assembly time, according to reviews=anywhere from 2-4 hours).

I will never switch to decaf.

Homemade Mobile

You can spend as little or as much as you'd like on a mobile for your teeny one. We had a fancy mobile that hung above the crib--it played a lullaby and was very sweet, until Feats of Strength made quick work of it, snapping it in two as soon as her tiny, freakishly strong arms could reach that high. This mobile is one I made to hang (out of reach) above the changing table:

It's super easy. Here's what you need:

A one-inch dowel (about 30-36" long)

Two cup hooks big enough to hold the dowel

Several shiny baubles

Fishing line

Center the dowel over the changing table (or wherever you're going to hang it) and mark the spots where the cup hooks will go--they'll need to be about 4" in from the ends. Screw in the cup hooks. Slide the dowel into the cup hooks. Using the fishing line, hang your baubles at varying heights over the length of the dowel.

That's it. You're done now. Stand back and admire your work.

This is the ceiling part of the diaper changing corner.

When she was tiny, we could distract her simply by gently bumping the baubles, thereby making them slowly spin. Mesmerizing. If you're motivated to do so, you could also paint the dowel and hooks to match the ceiling. I intended to do this, but, alas, have not made it that far. The Starlightz Lantern in the corner casts a great glow on the room after the sun goes down. I like using it for middle of the night diaper changes, too. The light is much less harsh than a lamp.

My favorite bauble.

Christmas is a great time to add to your bauble collection. A lot of ornaments can easily double as hanging decorations and they're often quite shiny.

More of the corner.

The baubles used to hang much lower than they do now. As the reach of those tiny arms grows, the strings get shorter. The moment she could grab something, we hiked it up a bit.

The whole darn corner

We've still got a few more things to put up, but it's coming along nicely.

In the opposite corner of the room, we hung a beautiful cross-stitch we got at an antique store. Someone spent an awful lot of time on this and it's held up quite well through the years. We go through the list of animals from time to time, trying to make the corresponding sounds. I'm sure a kangaroo doesn't say "boing!", but I have yet to hear a kangaroo sound, so "boing!" will have to do for now. I can never remember what the "V" animal is, though. It looks a lot like a llama, but it's not. Any ideas?