As far as I can recall, I haven't sewn since I was about 10 years old.
I bought the simplest machine I could find (the Singer Simple--it's really all in the name, isn't it?), a pair of fancy scissors to guilt myself into actually doing this, and a seam ripper to undo any damage that might occur. The fabric and thread were supposed to be for kitchen curtains, but I've already decided they're better suited for a tote bag and begun the search (again) for the curtain fabric.
I'm excited. I'm going to start with the kitchen curtains and then move on to curtains for the bedrooms before tackling the more burly living room drapes. And don't even get me started on the little dresses I want to make for the Biggest Girl.
Before I can launch the sewing ship, though, there are two cabinets that need to be stained, coated, and hung in the laundry room (almost done with number one), as well as a yard that needs to be fenced, topsoiled, leveled, rolled, and seeded (bring it!) and a play kitchen that is just begging to be put together (average assembly time, according to reviews=anywhere from 2-4 hours).
I will never switch to decaf.